Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. If you'd like an answer to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.

I am a 61-year-old divorced woman who has been in a relationship with a 63-year-old divorced man for two years. We were "friends" in our teens, making our friendship very special - so I thought. In fact, he begged me to date him. We have had a great time and our children approve. However, he has decided we should see each other only once a month for dinner. He said we were beginning to "seem" married, and he likes his freedom. We dated only once a week. I never talked about marriage or even living together. I enjoy MY freedom, too. The odd thing is, he e-mails and calls me daily, reminding me that he still cares for me deeply. I care for him very much, but I am hurt and confused.

Mia: It's unbelievable how the dating problems you have at 20 are the same at 60: Men are mixed-signal-sending jerks. You have to decide what you want. Is an occasional thing OK for you, or are you looking for a more serious relationship? And don't stay because you think you can't find any better! Once you make your decision, fish or cut bait.

Steve: But most men like fishing and cutting bait. At the same time! It doesn't sound as if commitment fear is the problem here, since you haven't sought one, so it could be something as simple as he'd like to sleep around. A discussion of ground rules is needed. Does he want to date others? If so, do you want to stick with him? The answers will lead to your next step.

Mia: Ouch! I would kindly tell her that you love the way she kisses and touches you (or something along those lines), but that you'd enjoy oral sex even more if she were a bit more gentle. Try to frame it in a positive way, so her feelings don't get hurt.

Earlier this past year, a group of family and friends went to an island wedding and had a great, memorable time. One thing that has bothered me is a meeting I had with my stepsister. I went to her room to try to smooth things over between her and several people she had insulted. She opened the door draped in a towel. Upon entry, she dropped the towel and was completely nude. She does have an amazing body, but this was unexpected and I was shocked. I haven't spoken a word of this to my wife of over 30 years... but I have did have flashbacks on what I witnessed. What should I do?

Mia: Yikes. Talk about family values! I think bringing it up would risk more drama, so stay mum. But avoid any more one-on-one interactions with the stepsister. No good can come of it.

Steve: Sounds like a soap opera. She insults people and then drops the towel in front of her married stepbrother. Mia's right; avoid any one-on-one contact with her. She's big trouble.

I graduated high school in June and got a pretty good job. One of my supervisors is kinda cute. All the girls make comments about him, even though he's in his 30s. One evening, he and I were closing. I need a supervisor's approval to close, and when I went to his office, he was masturbating. He then told me "things would go faster" if I watched. So I did. At the time I thought it was kinda hot, but now I think it was gross. I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I was an accomplice. I also walked in the door without knocking. I am not scheduled to close for two more weeks, but I'm afraid he will do it again.

Steve: I bet his actions were a violation of company policy. Tell him that you don't want it to happen again and make sure you knock before you enter. If it does happen again, tell his supervior.

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