Why does every ugly straight girl I meet think I want her just because I am cordial? I mean it’s not like they are Angelina, for goddess sake.

All the talk about tops and bottoms implies folks actually screw. Yeah, right. Most gays in 2005 are too pansy-waisted to do that anymore. They’re satisfied with much less than we older gents were.

I’m an average white 44-year-old poz guy looking for another average poz guy of any race. Problem is, beauty attracts beauty, and beauty only wants beauty. I’ll stay single forever before I let someone change me!

When you’re on a date, stop blabbing about the one who got away. Do you honestly think your date enjoys feeling like the romantic equivalent of a safety school?

Why do so many lazy poz queens sit home all day and collect disability checks. Do you think it’s right to pay silly bottoms who take charged loads up their bum?

I really liked your looks and personality, and I really thought we “meshed” well. But I had to drop you when you lied about your age.

It’s time to bring back public stoning. As the first victim, I nominate the jerk who infected me years ago and whom I forgave. Now that I am sick, he is too busy to give me the time of day, but not too busy to keep infecting everyone around him.

Yes, I fell in love with you when we first met and you had the six pack. And in the time it took you to gain that 15 pounds, I came to love you even more. But if you ever lose those bright, gorgeous eyes, I’m outta here.

I hate that my mother is a controlling selfish bitch. I don’t even like her, but she brainwashed me from a young age into thinking she deserves everything.

I’m so tried of hooking up with guys online who describe themselves as “fit,” only to find out they’re hogs. So back up to a wall and if your belly sticks our farther than your nipples, you are fat!

It’s sad enough that you have to post a picture of yourself online that you took yourself. But if you’re going to use the bathroom mirror, at least try cleaning the bathroom first.

Hasn’t anyone realized that while we bitch about sex, drugs and fashion, rich conservatives are fighting to make sure we remain second-class citizens?

Gay men should learn martial arts, carry weapons and learn to use them instead of always running away like chickens when faced with homophobic slurs. It’s because so many gay people are known to flee that the bastards attack us in the first place!

As a poz-since-1985 guy, I’m way with the poz-since-1986 guy who works long hours and is fed up with poz guys who are on disability and don’t do anything to help others, but are healthy enough to workout and party.

To the guy with the weight problem who was incensed because guys were staring at him in the locker room: We weren’t being critical, we were just shocked to see an overweight guy whose sole use of the gym did not consist of trolling in the steam room and the sauna.

Can you really still just “be friends” after he says that you’re not his type? And then everything he says or does seems to be mocking you because you’re still into him.

Why do escorts use pictures that are 15 years old? They’ll be tall, smooth with a six pack in a photo and in person have hair, no six pack and a gut. We need to pass a “Truth in Escort Pictures” law.

Another reason to become a Buddhist monk: Even if you’re a reasonably masculine and handsome guy, no one wants to date you if you’re shy and sweet. They only want to date you if you’re an egotistical ass they think they can tame.

To the homophobic, Bible-thumping, can’t keep your laws out of my bedroom, orgasm-deficient assholes who dedicate their lives to abolishing the separation of church and state: Some of us don’t believe in Christian mythology. So get over it!

It’s not that you are significantly older than me (hell, I’m over 40!) or that you are not a gym-chiseled, hard-bodied god (note my love handles). I’ve ignored you at the bar because you’re boring. I can’t endure another conversation about real estate. I have a house. I know how that works already.

My brother preaches to me about being responsible and straightening up, but I’ve been with my boyfriend longer than he has with any of his ho’s.

You think that because I have money I’m corrupted and want to do nothing but show it off. Well, honey, it’s not noble being poor and proudly showing your ass through those torn jeans of yours.

To the guy who took me out for dinner and said how much he wished I was 13 rather than 19: You creep me out. I may be young and comfortable with my gay identity, but not with pedophiles!

Why is it when you see me at one bar and I ask if you’re into black guys, you tell me no. Then I see you at another bar and you tell me you are but you don’t want your friends to know?

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