I hear that music-biz folks are joking that they'll need bulletproof vests after dealing with Long Island body-armor mogul David H. Brooks and his relentless quest to book major-name rock bands for his daughter's Nov. 26 bat mitzvah.

The 50-year-old Brooks, chairman of the Westbury-based defense contractor DHB Industries Inc., has let it be known he's willing to spend millions of dollars - virtually an unlimited budget - on a party so lavish it will require two floors of the Rainbow Room.

But so far - despite flashing cash at Billy Joel, Rod Stewart, Don Henley, Neil Young and Fleetwood Mac (acts that might appeal more to a middle-aged man than to a 13-year-old girl) - I'm told that Brooks has managed to nail down only hip-hop diva Ciara.

One source close to the situation told me Brooks also has booked an unidentified "A-level act." I'm told Henley is considering the gig, as long as his seven-figure fee is paid directly to his Walden Woods Foundation. Presumably, some of the bigger-name artists will eventually come around - that is, if Brooks can keep the big checks coming and his hot temper in check.

I hear that Brooks - who in 2004 made $72.6 million in salary and exercised stock options, the highest pay of any exec on Long Island - has been given to angry rants and colorful threats in his dealings with agents, promoters and other rock-group functionaries.

In one widely circulated story, I'm told that Brooks - who, according to published reports, is being investigated by the Securities and Exchange Commission regarding his compensation and stock sales - is said to have threatened a William Morris agent with career-ending trouble from his "friend," Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

Brooks, whose company boasts multimillion-dollar contracts with the U.S. military and has also supplied the New York Police Department, didn't respond to my detailed messages.

After the 20-year-old actor recently made headlines for strolling into an illegal upper East Side poker den mid-bust, he apparently decided to take his gambling itch to the right side of the law - by signing a contract with the legal betting Web site BetCRIS.com.

"He approached us about two weeks ago," said Ariel Espinoza, BetCRIS.com's marketing director. "He wanted to be able to gamble from home and not end up in the newspaper."

Lowdown hears that the U.K.-based Web site agreed to give Iler a $50,000 account in exchange for permission to use his name and likeness for promotional purposes.

Iler's manager, Jeff Mitchell, was quick to dispute Espinoza's version of events. "Robert didn't go to them," he told Lowdown. "They offered him the opportunity to gamble on the site, and he took it. And he doesn't have an exclusive deal to gamble with them."

Iler's had his brushes with the law. He pleaded guilty in 2002 to a misdemeanor larceny charge after being accused of participating in an East Side mugging and was sentenced to three years' probation. Last April, he was initially named in an assault on a middle-aged woman at a private party on W. 46th St., but no charges were filed.

BROTHER IN SHINING ARMOR? Rod Stewart's son Sean avenged his sister Kimberly on Halloween by dressing up as her ex-boyfriend, "Girls Gone Wild" promoter Joe Francis. Lowdown hears that the 25-year-old Stewart showed up at Haylie Duff's party in L.A. sporting a shirt that read, "I love kiddie porn," along with "GGW" shorts and baseball cap. Way harsh. "Sean's costume was, like, the highlight of the party," says one attendee. Whether or not Francis cares is unclear - his flack didn't return detailed messages.

so she turned back around and flipped the paparazzi the bird with both hands!" Yesterday, Carlton's rep dismissed the story as a "fabrication," telling Lowdown: "That's insane. She went to Glamour because she wanted to talk about running in the New York City Marathon to benefit the charity Musicians on Call." So does Carlton have a Branch button? "She is friends with her, and she loves her music," the flack replied. A rep for Branch didn't return a detailed message.

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